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Saturday, April 25, 2015

Shut up about the "mommy wars"

Dear media, I know you really like to talk about the "mommy war." That thing where every type of mother hates every other type of mother. But really, shut up. There is no such thing (or if there is, I've never experienced it).

Here's why it does not exist.
1. No mom has enough time or energy to worry about what some other mom thinks or is doing. Unless they're asking for help or assistance. And then every mom I've ever met will give you all the advice and help you could ever want.
2. There are no "types" of moms. Yes, some moms work and some don't, some moms exclusively breastfeed and some only do formula, etc. But most moms do whatever they can to make their kids happy and kinda sane. At some point, I've tried things with my kids I never would've imagined. I've washed my cloth diapers in grapeseed oil extract, I've used coconut oil on a diaper rash, I've used tons of buttpaste and disposable diapers, I've bottle fed, I've given my kid formula, I've given my kid breastmilk from a bottle and from a breast...I've done it all. I'm not crunchy, I'm not holistic, I'm not a firm believer in everything my doctor (or husband) says, I'm a little bit of everything. If something is going on with my kid, I will try pretty much anything to fix it.
3. I'd rather have an open dialogue with another mom than a fight. The other day, a mom friend and I were talking punishment. She uses time-outs because they work for her. I don't because it's not really my thing. That was it. There was no war. No one tried to convince the other that they were right. It was a statement of facts, a revelation of our truths. Do I think she's wrong and I'm right? No. I think we're both right, even though we're doing two different things, because we have two different kids. And thank goodness for that!

And I don't think I'm in the minority of moms who feel this way. So can we just drop it now? Thanks.

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